Back on the board

What a first few weeks….the daily surges in excitement, the meetings, the adrenaline, the head full of everything at once but not focussing on one thing. The frustration, the run along the river Mersey to clear the head, the small constant tremble beneath the surface of not wanting to fail and of course the life outside this, is there an outside? Everything seems to become consumed into this new quest.
Every aspect of running a new business relies on switching between the details of the immediate and one eye on the horizon. Another solo journey of small comparison in Morocco in recent times, a novice to the surf board for twelve days of surf school I joined a group of seasoned surfers. Not wanting to show lacking I spent my first days battling to swim out against the waves to even begin to start standing up and catch a moment of being one with the water. This place to reach beyond the incessant breaking wave sets seemed to drift further away in equal measure to my depleting energy.
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Paddling out against the huge waves as crouched stealth surfers glided past me, made me feel helpless clinging to my board as wave sets crashed me down to the silent bubble mists below and then back up into the thunder of another conspiring set of waves.
It tried to break me, and after one surreal hospital trip for an x-ray I recuperated for a couple of days and returned to the board with a new group arrival and an altered perspective on something that tested my mettle. I ventured back in to the sea and let go of all the tension of ‘trying’ to do it, watching the swell and picking my spot, I swam without frantic energy and eased up into position and relaxed and without gritted determination, allowed the wave to carry me and when more speed needed I pressed into the front of the board with the lightest of touch and glided into the beach. Too much speed I would lean back and let the nose rise up and wait for the crest of the wave and begin again.
My abilities began to become more akin to those around me and catching sight of a one of your fellow group who had tracked your travails and progress, gave way to a raised arm, this small recognition allowing you to appreciate your own small steps and celebrate with them.
These early weeks of my new business venture present me with different waves of energy as I go out into new places and meet new people along the way. As we strive to view what is on the horizon and working hard to maintain a balance we remember to salute others as they rise and flow along their own waves of progress.